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  • Writer's pictureModern Love Club

If You’re Experiencing Fatigue from Online Dating, Step Back and Take A Breath

I think it can be easy to overlook our digital social lives as a cause of our exhaustion. What can feel temporarily energizing- matching with someone you’re interested in, or receiving a message from them (thanks dopamine), can in the long run produce a draining sense of social burnout.

It’s important for us to recognize the symptoms of online dating fatigue because we want to be able to engage in our romantic pursuits from an empowered, energized, and curious place. It’s hard to feel sexy and playful with someone when our attitude suggests we’re primed for disappointment.

The easiest way to know if you’re experiencing fatigue from online dating is to notice if your thoughts and feelings about meeting new prospects are largely negative. A pessimistic outlook is a clue that it’s time to take a step back, take a breath, and re-evaluate.

Take some time away to deeply engage in all the things that are wonderful about IRL experiences. Take yourself out on dates to explore the city, make extra effort to plan exciting activities with friends, or stay home and indulge in some luxurious self care. Taking some time to reconnect with what you love about your life and the people in it can help spark inspiration to connect with a new person with whom you want to share all these wonderful things with.

When you feel ready to start connecting with people online again, try to remember to go for quality over quantity. Read profiles thoroughly and send personalized messages that can instigate meaningful conversation. Those generic profiles that you feel “meh” about probably don’t have much to offer. Trust your intuition. I recommend limiting the amount of time you spend swiping daily, too. You want to protect yourself and your most valuable resource, your time.

One thing that’s helpful both on and offline is to commit to being authentic. Take note of what really brings you joy to do with your day. I bet you’ll get a ton more out of joining a running group or book club, or going to an event based on something you’re genuinely interested in than you will having tepid conversations with a generic profile from your couch!

Until you match with someone with whom conversation flows easily, who is forthright about their intentions, and interested in getting to know you off the app, put your time and effort into your life, those who love you, and all the things you’re curious to try and do. Dating works best when rooted in curiosity, excitement, and play.

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