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  • Writer's pictureModern Love Club

Reality Check


While talking to one of my girlfriends about the popular television show, The Bachelor, I came to a frightening realization. Despite watching nearly every episode of the show, I couldn’t discern one singular contestant from the others.

On reality shows like Millionaire Matchmaker and The Real Housewives of whatever, everyone appears the same: The bronzed-ness of their skin is matched only by the blondeness of their hair. I’m not suggesting that there’s anything wrong with the way the contestants choose to present themselves, however – I do believe the consistent appearances and personalities portrayed on these shows sends a very specific message: Love is for other people.

Namely, love is for people with “perfect” bodies, clear skin, orthodontic superiority and no discerning personalities.

As a professional matchmaker, I hear all kinds of advice from all kinds of self-appointed “love experts,” telling us that if we consume X,Y,Z, we can we be successful romantically. Not because this is true, but because if we dislike aspects of ourselves, we will definitely buy something in hopes to heal that part of ourselves that feels unseen.

My entire career as a Matchmaker and Love Coach is built on only one piece of advice, and perhaps it is a cliché, but it works.

Be yourself. 

Or, more specifically, be the most unapologetic, fully realized, well developed, and clearly stated version of yourself. Only then can you attract the right person, and build an authentic relationship with a person that loves and adores you for who you are.

So, what messages do you think reality romance TV shows sends to its viewers? Do you have any tips or tricks that remind you to be yourself? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Yours in Romance,


This post originally appeared in The Daily Love on November 2, 2012

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kavya agnihotri
kavya agnihotri
Oct 15, 2023

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